Kind Words from Dad

Ruthy was our doula for both of my wife’s pregnancies with our first and second children.  The first birth was our son in 2012 and the second was our daughter just a few months ago in 2015.  Both times, my wife and I were truly blessed by Ruthy’s expertise, thoughtfulness, patience, and faith.  Ruthy was always helpful with providing timely practical advice and even providing spiritual guidance as a strong Christian.  She went above and beyond in ensuring that my wife felt as comforted and supported as possible during childbirth, which meant the world to my wife and to me.  We are so very grateful for Ruthy’s doula services and recommend her to anyone looking for the “total package” doula!

-Jay Grant

First of all, when my wife and I were expecting our first child, I had absolutely no idea what a doula was.  Not a clue!  When my wife mentioned how she thought it would be a good idea to have a “doula” be present during her birth, I was skeptical.  Once I learned what a doula was, I remember telling my wife, “Why would we need anyone helping with your birth?  That’s MY job!!”  I was worried a doula would detract from my responsibility as a man, by stepping in and getting in the way of my excellent ability as a support for my wife.  And as I write this, I wonder if I’m the only man who ever felt that way…

We decided to employ Ruth as our doula for my wife’s first birth.  We had a meeting with Ruth several times before our little girl arrived, and I remember Ruth asking me specifically what role I felt she should play in the delivery room.  I told her that I was hoping to be my wife’s main support during the birth, and as involved as possible.  I remember Ruth asking more than once, how I handled stress, or difficult situations, or how I handle seeing my wife in any sort of pain.  I told her that I’m great at handling stress (I mean, what real man isn’t, right??) and seeing my wife in pain would not bother me, and I’d drive on as her “knight in shining armor”.  She said she just wanted to know, in order to be prepared how to help in the difficult moments during birth in relation to our birth plan.  I told her I should be good (even though I had never experienced a child birth before).

When the day finally arrived for our daughter to be born, I had no idea we were in for a long, very difficult labor that would ultimately last for over 20 hours (not including the week of pre-labor pains which caused my wife no sleep before the actual zero hour).  By the time we were instructed to go to the hospital, my wife was already exhausted.  At that moment, I thought “Well, at least it’s finally coming to an end.”  I was totally unprepared for what was to follow.

Long story short, my wife endured over 20 hours of active labor.  There were times when she just wanted it to end.  And with regard to how I thought I handled stress, or watching my wife in any sort of pain, I was totally unprepared for this experience!  Having Ruth there with us during my wife’s labor was so invaluable.  I had no idea how much not only my wife needed Ruth there, but myself.  I remember thinking through that experience how thankful I was that we had Ruth be our doula.  I don’t know how we (I) would have made it without her help.  She was such an encouragement during the difficult hours of labor.  When I began to lose my resolve to stick to my wife’s birth plan, and contemplated intervention, Ruth was the encouragement I needed.  Yes I know, I know, childbirth is a woman’s burden to bear.  But I was totally unprepared for how it would affect her husband, her support, and me.

Never once did I feel like Ruth was “taking over” or “getting in the way” of my ability to support my wife.  She was such a calming presence in the delivery room, and offered some amazing ideas on how to help me be a better support for my wife.  Guys, if you want to position yourselves to be the best support you can be for your wife during her labor, have Ruth Green be your doula.  We have had a second child and are expecting our third (Praise the Lord!) and we have already lined up Ruth to be our doula for baby number three!!

I hope to use Ruth as our doula for as long as the Lord continues to bless us with children.  So in conclusion, guys, if you’ve never heard of a doula or what a doula can do to enhance your abilities as a support for your wife, you need to hire Ruth.  She’s the best, and we are so thankful for her services not only as our doula but also as our friend.

— Matt Miller