I’ve been giving some thought lately to how much I have enjoyed working with my Dads over the many years I’ve been involved in birth work. The wide variety of personalities, preferences, dynamics, and support styles I’ve witnessed while working with my expectant couples has been a blessing to see. Being a part of the unfolding of a family and watching the building of my dads’ confidence in themselves and their roles as husbands and daddies has been a treat.
It may have started with that Dad that was excited as could be in the approaching birth of their first child. They attended as many prenatals as possible, participated in the childbirth preparation classes, the lactation class, the tour of the labor and delivery unit, and every possible event to keep themselves connected to the whole process. Or maybe it was the Dad that was the nervous “Ned” type about the whole labor and delivery process and you wondered who was going to need more supporting, him or Mom. Despite my misgivings and doubts about those dads, they came through just fine and were able to give Mom more than I ever could because of the dynamics of their relationship and the unique perspective each dad brings to that sacred space. I especially enjoy those dads that want to be and do everything for their laboring wives and heaven help anyone who encroached on Dad’s space while filling that role. They wanted to be the ones to offer those comforting back rubs, the encouraging words, the much needed cold drink, the reassuring pats, the words of affirmation… til’ you really felt, as a doula, that your job was being done for you and you felt guilty for not doing more. I’ve really been tickled by those dads that were eager to do all they could but had no clue what to do, when to do it, or how it was to be done. They were even unsure of whether they should/could do anything at all. Their hesitant willingness was a joy to witness and watching their zeal blossom before my eyes, their confidence grow as their wives became more dependent on them, and their estimation of themselves peak as labor unfolded made for a great day. All in all, my dads are such an integral part of the whole process it’s hard to imagine my work without them.
So, this is my tribute to all those dads that have made my job such a blessing. Your dedication to your wives and babies has been part of what keeps this work a pleasure to me. I am thankful beyond words that you have allowed me the joy and privilege of being part of such a momentous occasion. Though the ups and downs of this line of work will always be part of the territory, being able to co-labor (no pun intended) alongside committed dads makes my work that much more fulfilling. So my hat’s off to you, Dads, for shining true and strong.
